Entry 3: Low Flying Aircraft?

   If you drive past an airport and a road is perpendicular to the direction of how planes take off you may see a sign that reads: "Low Flying Aircraft". This makes sense seeing as how air planes typically fly thousands of feet above the ground and when they first take off or land they are considerably lower than when in mid flight. However, while driving to my former college campus to visit my friends to catch up on important things like playing video games, eating junk food and making fun of each other, I began to realize how pointless these signs are.

   First of all, I couldn't think of the last time I had to duck while in my car to dodge a "low flying" air plane or helicopter. Now maybe if my car was 150 feet tall I'd have to watch out for air planes coming in for a landing 2 football field lengths above me. I see one taking off and I ease on the brakes in a safe fashion and let the plane with all 250 passengers pass by. If I see one coming in for a landing I do the same to avoid a fender bender with a 200 mph aircraft. But since my car (It's a 1997 Chevy Malibu by the way. I've had that faithful friend for over 6 years now and have hardly had a problem. 30+ miles per gallon, only has like 80,000 miles on it and we talked it down from $8,000 to $3,999.99 at the dealers at Christmas time! Bam!) isnot 100 feet tall I find myself surgically scanning the skies for a colossus air craft that will tear my roof off if I drive under it as it's flying over.

Clearly you are in danger while planes fly 300 feet above your vehicle.

   Then I began to realize how incredibly difficult it would be for an aircraft to even hit me. There are trees and poles every-fricken-where! They couldn't take my roof if they wanted to without a face plant into the Earth. Then you've got houses, barns and hills if you see one of these anomaly signs in a rural area. The only feasible time I can think of when an air craft is moving low enough to put me in danger while I am cruising around in my 97' Malibu is if they are crashing! What are the chances of that actually happening? while I am driving by? or while anyone is driving by? The signs should instead read:

Watch for crashing aircraft.